Parents’ marriage pressure, the stable Rishta parade leaves me exhausted. Please help!

Dear Haya,

I am in my early 1920s and under pressure from my parents to start showing Risks. I knew I had to be prepared for this day, but to be asked almost every weekend is very disappointing to me now.

My family is usually progressive, but when the daughter is going to marry, she is conservative. Most girls in our family are married by 25. My parents are also worried now and want to see me settle as soon as possible.

Marriage is not something I am fully prepared, but I am convincing my parent’s happiness. However, now it becomes quiet for me to dress almost every second week and appear before the people who are ready to judge me.

How can I tour this situation as someone who is almost helpless at this point?

Dear Anon,

What you express is something that many women pass in Pakistan and the wider area of ​​South Asia. The stress of managing your family expectations and your own readiness may feel overwhelming.

I hear that you are not ready, but they only appear for your parents, who in itself can feel like a lot of pressure. I feel the weakness in your tone, let’s take a look at what we can do.

Here are some ways to browse this situation:

Name your truth

Recognize yourself that you are not fully ready yet, but you are involved because of family pressure. Calling this truth without guilt gives you a sense of choice.

Create small boundaries

Instead of rejecting the process, ask your parents to slow down. Maybe once a month instead of weekly. You do not avoid, redirect.

Tell your family how you feel

Choose a member from your parent with whom you feel emotionally safer and tell them how you feel it is not completely ready. If at any point it gets too much for you and starts affecting your mental health, let them know that you need a break.

Reframe Rishta Meetings

Take each meeting as an opportunity to gather clarity. What matters to you? Evaluate prices, computational and respect. The choice of a partner comes from a level of self -knowledge of our own knowledge. What works well with you? What are your main needs in a relationship? This shift will allow you to gain more control over your life and what matters to you.

Take care of your emotional energy

The process may feel exhaustive and drainage. Create small rituals to recharge. Go for a walk, call a friend or take a coffee, or anything else you feel can help.

Recognize your parents’ actions

Recognize that the feeling of urgency of your parents may come from a place of anxiety. Recognize that it does not reflect your value or readiness.

Always remember, you are the one you get married and you have to live your life. The final choice of a partner is something you should feel peacefully and satisfied. Take this process as an opportunity to understand what is most important to you and remember to take care of yourself during this process.

My best wishes,

Permission

Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, neuro-linguistic planning (NLP), wellness strategy and the trainer with know-how in creating organizational cultures that focus on prosperity and awareness of mental health.

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