How can I go back to being my ambitious, confident self again?

Dear Haya,

I was a top -notch with high dreams and ambitions in life. Then something happened and somehow from being an ambitious and confident man, he turned into average or perhaps under the average student. My energy sank.

I have become a dull person and physically weak. My body hurts and feels tired and I have lost weight. Despite medical treatments, I do not recover correctly.

I feel the gates in the opportunities in my life are closed. I don’t know how I will survive. I just feel useless because I could never achieve anything. Will I ever be able to do it? My confidence has been destroyed. I can’t show people the real and uncertain self without makeup. I wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to be like my old self or maybe turned into a better young person. Please help!

– a frustrated man

Dear disappointed man,

Thank you for sharing your struggles in such a honest and transparent way. From what it sounds, you have brought a heavy weight both physically and emotionally. I hear you feel frustrated in yourself, you feel the contrast between where you were and where you are today.

You have said that you are feeling tired and tired despite medical treatments and “something that happened” that seemed to activate this fall. What was that? And what impact on you? Sometimes, an important event, even if we try to suppress it, can leave a deep footprint in the mind and body. When we pass through such incidents, our body and nervous system can go into a state of survival. We may have suppressed the pain, but the body maintains the score. Prolonged stress can occur as fatigue, low energy, loss of incentives or even physical pain. At times, it could also develop into anxiety or depression – both of them to be diagnosed by a professional.

Your mind and body do not betray you. In fact, they give you signals that something inside you needs care and attention.

I also hear you describe yourself as “useless” because you have not achieved what you hope. But I would like to stop and reflect here. What does the achievement mean to you? Is it a career, landmarks, recognition or could it also be durability, cure or courage to continue despite pain? Just because you have not yet achieved the goals you set for yourself does not mean that you will not succeed. Sometimes, when we are in a cycle of exhaustion and self -doubt it can feel impossible.

Your makeup races reflect something deeper – it talks about confidence. The belief and feeling that you are not enough without it. I also hear that it wasn’t always so and recently you started to feel that way. Get weird about what has changed for you, what has brought about this drastic shift?

Here I would recommend you start:

Self -adhesive and recognizing your feelings

The first thing is to recognize and accept where you are in life right now. Not where you were, not where you want, but where are you today. When we accept our situation for what it is, only then can we do something about it. True trust comes with the acceptance of where you are instead of fighting against him.

Grieve

Let yourself mourn the version of life you thought you would have. Sadness is part of the space for new growth.

Construct the confidence

When we are at a point in life when everything feels impossible, we must work to build self -confidence through small consistent actions. Doing what you say you will do, for example, by taking a short walk or eat a nutritional meal in the day. Slowly this will establish the belief that you are capable and reliable.

Remodeling and displacement of mentality

If you have not achieved goals does not mean you will never do it. It’s just that you haven’t achieved them yet. Opportunities are not closed doors, they do not come with expiration dates. They can be created and discovered anywhere in life. Many people feel lost for some time, only later to find trails that align more closely with their values ​​and advantages. What matters remains open and weird about what could follow.

Focusing on physical health

When things don’t go on our way, one effective way is to focus on the basics. Sleep, nutrition, hydration and movement. These can greatly proceed with our support to improve.

Create a vision board

Take some time to redefine what you want to do, your goals in your expectations. How does your ideal self look like? What are they doing? This can help you reconnect with your ambitions and create a course map to achieve them.

Looking for professional support

Many times, we continue to do things from ourselves. While we need professional support. Support search is one of the highest forms of self -sacrifice and courage. We do not intend to understand everything from us. There is support out there, we must be willing to access it. I would particularly recommend working with a therapist and the appreciation made by a psychiatrist to rule out anxiety or depression.

This phase of your life is not to become who you are, but instead discovering who you are now, rediscovering your power, honoring your story and creating a version of you who feels authentic, durable and whole. The route may seem different from what you have imagined, but otherwise it doesn’t mean less. Sometimes, it becomes increasingly wise and more grounded than you thought it was possible.

Remember, give up only when you decide. Your story is not over.

– Haya

Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, neuro-linguistic planning practitioner (NLP), a corporate well-being strategy and a trainer with know-how on the creation of organizational cultures that focus on prosperity and awareness of mental health.

Send her your questions by filling in This form or email to [email protected]

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